Santa Banta Jokes

Saturday, March 12, 2011

How intelligent are you?


Calling all the grey cells;

Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor
without cracking it?

Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how
long would it take four men to build it?

Q.If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand
and four apples and three oranges in the other hand,
what would you have?

Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?

Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?

Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it
will become?

Q. What looks like half apple?

Q. What can you never eat for breakfast?

Q. What happened when wheel was invented?

Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?


Answers for the above:

Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor
without cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC
Topper)

Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how
long would it take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23rd Rank
Opted for IFS)

Q.If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand
and four apples and three oranges in the other hand,
what would you have?
A. Very large hands. (Good one) (UPSC 11th Rank Opted
for IPS)

Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an
elephant with >one hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES)

Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Probs, He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 98)

Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it
will become?
A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS
Rank 2)

Q. What looks like half apple?
A. The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper)

Q. What can you never eat for breakfast?
A. Dinner.

Q. What happened when wheel was invented?
A. It caused a revolution.

Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A. Liquid. (UPSC 33Rank)

Really Smart Isn't it ??

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Another hot one to make ur mood twist:-

The social networking kinda blog is meant for all of my friends,classmates,colleagues etc.It would cater to the good and evils(bhalomondo) of all sectors be it media,pharma,hardwares,hospitality,hotels,IT and softwares,textiles,Fmcg,Construction and infrastructure,Finance,insurance,networking,education.You name it and it would have all.Hope you would have a fun time reading the articles..


A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students.

Teacher: What is your problem?
Boy: I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is. I think I should be in the third-grade too.The teacher took the boy to the principal's office. While the Boy waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.The principal told her that he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed.The boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: What is 3 x 3?
Boy: 9

Principal: What is 6 x 6?
Boy: 36

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. "I think the boy can go to the third-grade", said the principal. The teacher said she had some of her own questions to ask. The principal and the boy agreed.

Teacher: What is it that a cow has four and I have only two?
Boy: (after a moment) Legs.

Teacher: What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?
Boy: Pockets.

Teacher: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy: Coconut.

Teacher : What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky? The principal's eyes openned really wide and before he could stop the answer, the boy was already answering.
Boy: Bubblegum

Teacher: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs? The principal's eyes openned really wide and before he could stop the answer...
Boy: Shake hands.

Teacher: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay? Boy:
Yep.

Teacher: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Boy: Tent

Teacher: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large vodka peg..... Boy:
Wedding Ring.

Teacher: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Boy: Nose

Teacher: I am a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Boy: Arrow

Teacher: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?
Boy: Firetruck.

Teacher: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' and if u dont get it u have to use your hand?
Boy: Fork.

Teacher : What is it that all men have one. It is longer for some men than for others. The pope doesn't use his. Normally a man gives it to his wife after they're married?
Boy: SURNAME.

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, "Send this Boy to the University. I got the last questions wrong myself

Saturday, April 25, 2009

The Other Company Selling Condoms

1)PEPSODENT CONDOM:Raat bhar dhishum dhishum!.

2)NOKIA CONDOM:Connecting People.

3)MRF CONDOM:Extra Rubber Extra Mileage.

4)MOOV CONDOM:Ah Se Ahaa Tak.

5)MIRINDA CONDOM:Zor Ka Jhatka Dhire Se Lage.

6)COCA COLA CONDOM:Eat Condom, Sleep Condom Wear Only Coca Cola.

7)BAGPIPER CONDOM:Khub Jamega Rang Jab Milenge Teenyaar Main Aap Aur Bagpiper Condom.

8)LUX CONDOM:Filmi Sitaron Ki Pasand.

9)PHILIPS CONDOM:Let's Make Things Better.

10)ONIDA CONDOM:Neighbors Envy Owners Pride.

11)Tata sky condom:Isko lagadalla to life jingalala.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Real names of film stars

Several Indian movie stars & singers have fancy names that are often different from their real names.

Here’s a brief list:-

Movie Name Real Name

Aamir Khan - Aamir Hussain Khan
Aditya Pancholi - Nirmal Pancholi
Amitabh bacchan - Amitabh Srivastav
Asrani - Govardhan Asrani
Ajay Devgan - Vishal Devgan
Akshay Kumar - Rajiv Hari Om Bhatia
Ashok Kumar - Kumudlal Kunjilal Ganguly
Bobby Deol - Vijay Singh Deol
Chiranjeevi - Konidela Siva Shankara Vara Prasad
Dev Anand - DharamDev Pishorimal Δ€nand
Dharmendra - Dharam Singh Deol
Dilip Kumar - Yusuf Khan
Guru Dutt - Vasanth Kumar Shivashankar Padukone
Jagdeep - Syed Jawaher Ali Jaffry
Jaya Pradha - Lalita Rani
Jeetendra - Ravi Kapoor
Johnny Lever - Janardhana Rao
Johnny Walker - Badruddin Jamaluddin Kazi
Kumar Gaurav - Manoj Tulli
Mallika Sherawat - Reema Lamba
Manoj Kumar - Harikishan Giri Goswami
Meena Kumari - Mahjabeen Bano
Meera Jasmine - Jasmine Mary Joseph
Mithun Chakraborty - Gouranga Chakraborty
Mohanlal - Mohanlal Viswanathan Nair
Nargis - Fatima Rashid
Rajesh Khanna - Jatin Khanna
Rajinikanth - Shivaji Rao Gaekwad
Rajkumar - Singanalluru Puttaswamayya Muthuraju
Rekha - Bhanurekha Ganesan
Salman Khan - Abdul Rashid Salim Salman Khan
Sandhya - Revathy
Sanjeev Kumar - Harihar Jariwala
Savithri - Savithri Kommareddy
Shammi Kapoor - Shamsher Raj Kapoor
Shashi Kapoor - Balbir Raj Kapoor
Sunil Dutt - Balraj Dutt
Sunny Deol - Ajay Singh Deol
Surya - Saravanan Sivakumar
Vikram - John Kennedy

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Beware while using the trial rooms any where.Girls beware

The social networking kinda blog is meant for all of my friends,classmates,colleagues etc.It would cater to the good and evils(bhalomondo) of all sectors be it media,pharma,hardwares,hospitality,hotels,IT and softwares,textiles,Fmcg,Construction and infrastructure,Finance,insurance,networking,education.You name it and it would have all.Hope you would have a fun time reading the articles..

Have you seen recent advertisement of M/S SAINT GOBAIN GLASSES shown in TELEVISION'S - Then you must have known about 2 Way mirror)

How to determine if a mirror is 2 way or not ? (Not a Joke!)
Not to scare you, but to make sure that you aware. Many of the Hotels and Textile showrooms cheat the customers this way.

HOW TO DETECT A 2-WAY MIRROR?
When we visit toilets, bathrooms, hotel rooms, changing rooms, etc.,
How many of you know for sure that the seemingly ordinary mirror hanging on the wall is a real mirror, or actually a 2-way mirror I.e., they can see you, but you can't see them. There have been many cases of people installing 2-way mirrors in female changing rooms or bathroom or bedrooms. It is very difficult to positively identify the surface by just looking at it. So, how do we determine with any amount of certainty what type of mirror we are looking at?

CONDUCT THIS SIMPLE TEST:
Place the tip of your fingernail against the reflective surface and if there is a GAP between your fingernail and the image of the nail,then it is a GENUINE mirror.

However, if your fingernail DIRECTLY TOUCHES the image of your nail, then BEWARE, IT IS A 2-WAY MIRROR! (There may be someone seeing you from the other side).. So remember,every time you see a mirror, do the "fingernail test." It doesn't cost you anything. It is simple to do.

This is a really good thing to do. The reason there is a gap on a real mirror, is because the silver is on the back of the mirror UNDER the glass. Whereas with a two-way mirror, the silver is on the surface. Keep it in mind! Make sure and check every time you enter in hotel rooms.

Ladies:
Share this with your friends.

Men:
Share this with your sisters, wives, daughters, friends, colleagues, etc.
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